Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize