Are we in a gay sports bar?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
