Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
