LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
