That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Panties = found
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
