Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
