North Korea, Best Korea!
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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