how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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