plz talk dirty to me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
