do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't deserve a penis
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
