i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
