Your mouth is God's brothel.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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