mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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