areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Why can't burritos get me drunk
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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