It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
