Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
