The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
