i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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