i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
