The maid of honor just puked.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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