just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
