Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
farters have to be the big spoon...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize