Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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