i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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