3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
