I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
