I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
don't judge my taste in strippers
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize