I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
