I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
