it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
