Are we in a gay sports bar?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
