He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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