I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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