Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
