SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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