break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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