so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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