i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize