Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think my moral compass just broke
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