We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
