i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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