In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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