We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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