Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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