at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
