I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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