I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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