I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
