11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
