The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
