My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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