my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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