love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
