Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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