By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
