In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
