yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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