Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
