Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
