Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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