There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
