omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
